Tears
by TornadoMoose
Summary: "She finally met his eyes as they bored into hers steadily. Behind the glossy sheen of tears she was fighting to keep from forming, she knew he would be able to see all the answers he was looking for in her longing gaze." (4x17, "Wanted")


**A/N: I promise you I'm working on LA Hold 'Em. Sneaking in an unplanned chapter takes time. Meanwhile, I finally finished up this dribble that grew into a fully fledged story.**

 **Tagged to episode 4x17 ("Wanted"). Man, do I love my 'Missed Opportunities.' Were I a writer for the show, I would have likely been fired mid way through season 2 for suggesting that they hook up in every episode. In fact, I likely would have tried to find a way for it to happen the first episode Deeks appeared in back in season 1 (side note: I have an idea for that… I'll try to write it once I finish up LA Hold 'Em and another story or two I've outlined/barely started).**

 **Disclaimer: Do I own anything? Goodness, no. All I possess is a dirty mind and several clear ideas for what I wish these characters got up to more often.**

 **Rating: M. So much M.**

* * *

Kensi finally spotted the text message that had arrived for her while she was in the shower. She thought she had heard beeping, and was anxious that something might have happened with the search for Siderov and that they were being called back in.

It was just from Deeks.

 _Sexy Cop: What's in the box?_

Kensi smiled at the message, and that he was still harping on this after a few weeks. Also at the fact that he had managed to change his name in her contacts… Again. After taking a moment to change his name back, she came up with a pretty good idea of how to turn this all into a joke on him, but needed to focus on a box related innuendo to respond with. She had just settled on a phrase containing the words "box blocker," when another pair of messages arrived.

 _Deeks: Just wanted to let you know that I am still alive._

 _Deeks: In case you were worried._

For an instant, she was perturbed. Then her anger immediately subsided, and she smiled again in spite of herself. If it had been anyone else who responded with such a cavalier message after she had put herself out there like that earlier— after she had made him promise not to get himself killed, she would remain upset with them for the foreseeable future. But as with everything it seemed, with Deeks it was different. He defuses tension— all tension, with humor. And that's part of why she lo— liked him so much. As a partner… and a friend.

She decided to respond to his typical clownish comment with a sarcastic and brutal one of her own.

 _I really wasn't worried at all. I never am._

Only a few seconds later, his reply arrived.

 _Deeks: So harsh._

It was still fairly early. Not even 8:30 PM yet. Kensi was feeling bored, but more importantly, she was still upset about what had happened during the day: Losing contact with Deeks for several minutes while he was negotiating with a notorious Russian mobster, thinking he was in trouble, feeling guilty about leaving Sam locked up while his wife was in play, and Officer Snyder getting killed.

She didn't even like Snyder. Sabatino, didn't even seem to like him, and he was his partner. But he was broken up about it none the less. It had reminded her of how hard she'd take it if something happened to Deeks; how hard she took it two years ago when something almost did. And she barely even knew him back then when he got shot. Not like she knew him now, at least.

She knew Deeks likely felt the same. Under all the childish jokes, the flirtatious banter, the feigning jealousy (perhaps even actual jealousy) of Sabatino's advances, she knew Deeks was an intelligent, compassionate, and emotional man.

She hadn't actually made her mind up to go and check on him when she started to type. But her thumbs seemed to have their own plans.

 _I'm heading over. You'd better have beer._

 _Deeks: Sure! I always do. See you soon._

Traffic was light at that time of night, and she made it to his place in about ten minutes. She parked up the street and headed for his apartment. He must have guessed she was there, because she could see through the curtains of his living room window that he was headed for his door. But when he opened it to greet her, she wasn't prepared for what she saw.

Deeks stood in the doorway in gym shorts and a t-shirt, looking as fit as ever. But for once she didn't sneak a glance at the muscles on his chest or arms. She was fixated on his face: Deeks was weeping. Tears streamed down his cheeks from puffy red eyes, and he sniffled weakly before stepping aside to let her in.

Something inside Kensi broke at the sight of him like this. He didn't even get the chance to say hello to her before she cupped his face in her hands and brought it to hers for a breath taking kiss. If Deeks was surprised, he didn't show it. His lips met hers with enthusiasm, and his arms immediately wrapped around her waist to hold her tight.

She pulled back to look at him better. He looked happy. Genuinely happy. She brushed away one of the fallen tears before sighing, "Oh, Deeks. You okay?"

"I'm great! Better now that you're here," he said contentedly.

"Everything's going to be fine, you know?" she continued consolingly. Running her fingers through his hair, she looked at him a little sadly, but smiled as well.

Deeks started to appear a little confused. "I know… Wait—I… Do you think I'm crying because I'm sad?"

Kensi just looked at him a little perplexed while he wiped the remaining tears from his face. Shrugging, she responded, "Or upset, or— I don't know? Yes?"

"Kens," he said, laughing a little. "I'm just cutting onions. I'm making a hashed brown bake for tomorrow morning."

"Oh," she said flatly.

Her cheeks reddened and her eyes went wide. She'd have felt relieved if she weren't so mortified. She started to back away from him, but Deeks held her in place.

"Hey!" he said, massaging her back and trying to get her to meet his gaze. "Just wait a second. Did you only kiss me because you thought I was upset?"

Kensi opened her mouth to respond… though she had no idea how to answer that question. Instead, she moved her jaw a few times but no words came out. She tried again to step away, but put up very little resistance as he continued to keep her in his arms.

"Or," he said, pulling her in a little tighter. "Did you kiss me because you wanted to? Because you've wanted to for a while now?"

She finally met his eyes as they bored into hers steadily. Behind the glossy sheen of tears she was fighting to keep from forming, she knew he would be able to see all the answers he was looking for in her longing gaze.

"I… I guess I kissed you because you looked sad," she said. His face fell a tiny bit at her answer, but he continued to listen patiently. "And because I thought it would make you feel better. And… because I knew it would make _me_ feel better."

He pursed his lips in a slight smile. "And do you?… Feel better?"

Well, _that_ was a complicated question. Truthfully, Kensi did feel happier standing there in his arms. Almost _safer_ , which is a feeling she couldn't quite wrap her head around. She'd never needed anyone else to feel safe before; she could take care of her self.

She shook her head almost imperceptibly. "I don't know."

"How about if I told you that I'm glad you _did_ kiss me?" he suggested, his voice barely a whisper.

Kensi tilted her head forward until their foreheads met. Her arms moved instinctually to wrap around his shoulders. She could no longer really see his entire face, but when next he spoke, she felt his breath on her cheeks.

"Or if I kissed you? Would you feel better then?"

Her answer was to close her eyes, and part her lips expectantly. Her breath caught in her lungs when he captured her mouth with his. She leaned into him, and took a few steps with him until his back encountered the wall with a soft thud.

Minutes passed as the partners continued to kiss languidly. The only sounds they made were soft hums, the rustling of hands over clothing, and the occasional wet smack of their lips breaking apart and meeting again. Deeks' sloppy kisses began to grow more desperate. And only after Kensi pressed her hips into his did he break his silence.

"You're probably going to punch me for this, and I fully understand that I'm likely killing this moment—"

"Deeks?" she cut him off. Impatiently, she asked, "What is it?"

"—but I need to tell you that I've never wanted anyone as badly as I want you right now."

A thousand thoughts raced through Kensi's mind as she tilted her head to look at him better, his face was serious, and difficult to read. When she came over here to hang out with her partner, she hadn't imagined that any of this might happen. She hadn't intended to kiss him. She hadn't expected him to respond so readily, though it made her heart sing that he did. As many times as she may have thought about it— _fantasized_ about it, she certainly hadn't planned on falling into bed with him.

Faced with this opportunity, she was sorely tempted. Her stomach turned, her heart ached, and there was a heat beginning to tingle between her legs. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted him too. And any reservations she had about this being a bad idea were slipping away as quickly as her hands were slipping beneath his shirt.

She started to kiss him again with fervor, but he broke away. His hands found hers and held on to them, keeping them from continuing to explore the smooth muscles hidden beneath his shirt. She frowned at him slightly, her eyes darting impatiently between his flushed lips and his concerned gaze.

"I also need you to know that if we do this, I don't want it to be a one time thing," he informed her plainly.

He had a pained expression on his face, and Kensi suspected that it took him a lot of effort to risk telling that to her. She understood, because she shared his trepidations. Despite being unsure of what even the most immediate future might bring, all she could do was smile at the thought of Deeks being in it.

"Take me to your bedroom, Deeks," she told him.

He moaned his assent into her mouth as he devoured her lips with his, his tongue diving in to dance with hers more voraciously than before. Kensi expected him to guide her down the hall to his room. She was not prepared for him to cup his hands under her butt and pick her up. So when he did, she let out a little yelp and held onto him even tighter.

Deeks navigated blindly back to his room; his vision otherwise obscured by the face of his partner, latched on so securely to his own. He put a knee on the edge of his mattress, and leaned forward until gravity and the weight of her clinging so tightly to him pulled them down. They crashed onto the bed together and laughed at their own clumsiness.

They pulled apart to shed some of their clothing, but only made it as far as socks and shoes before Kensi pinned him down and attacked his mouth again. The next time they separated, it was so Deeks could sit up and pull the t-shirt over her head and toss it aside. He barely had a moment to appreciate the toned skin and simple bra revealed to him before she straddled his lap and tugged his shirt off as well.

Kensi had seen him shirtless before, of course, but never this close. Never with the opportunity to really inspect each well defined bunch of sinew, to appreciate how smooth and sun tanned his skin was, or to notice that the barely visible hairs on his chest were also a golden hue. And she had certainly never gotten the chance to trace her fingers up and down his torso, caressing the hard muscles under his soft skin.

When she encountered the two puckered scars on his body, she was painfully reminded for the second time that evening of that horrible day two years ago. Deeks saw where her attention was focused and pulled her in close, holding her tightly in his arms and burying his face in her shoulder. Her face was pressed into his neck, and she sat still with him for a moment simply breathing in his scent.

He repositioned his head and his lips brushed over her skin, reminding Kensi that a flame of desire still burned within her. Gently, she began to pepper open mouthed kisses along the curve of his neck, working her way towards his jaw. Deeks was encouraged by her movements to carry on as well, and ran his hands up her back until he encountered the clasp of her bra.

As Kensi shed the straps from her shoulders, she pushed on Deeks until he laid flat on his back. With her leaning over him, he finally took the opportunity to capture one of her breasts dangling enticingly close to his mouth. She whimpered when his teeth lightly grazed a nipple, but then drew a groan from him herself when she ground her hips down against his.

Deeks rolled her over again, and returned his lips to hers. Pausing to look down at her, he grinned in response to her gorgeous smile. One of his hands had started to pluck at the elastic of her yoga pants, his thumb tracing a path over the clothed spot that hid her arousal. He kissed her again, chuckling and tugging her lower lip between his.

"What?" she asked him curiously, having seen his sultry grin.

Pressing his thumb more firmly against her, he asked her in a silky voice, "Can I eat out this pussy of yours, Princess?"

His words sent a shiver of anticipation down her spine. _Fuck, yes!_ She bit her lip to conceal her excited smile. Few of her previous dalliances had ever been courteous enough to go down on her. Of the ones that did, most had to be told. None had ever taken the initiative to ask.

As casually as she could with a shaky voice, she replied, "If you want to."

That was all the encouragement Deeks needed. With a final sweet kiss on her lips, his began their journey down her slender neck, back and forth across her chest, between her breasts, and along the centerline of her flat stomach until his mouth reached the waistband of her tight pants. He mouthed at her clit beneath her pants before he slowly began to pull them down, along with her panties.

At first when she was fully bare to him, Kensi self consciously kept her legs together. But something about the hungry look in Deeks' eyes as he shifted on his knees further down the bed induced her to spread herself for him. Deeks settled into the space she had left open; He kept his eyes on hers and his shoulder blades shifted, alternating as he hunkered down like the jungle cat he claimed to be.

He kissed his way up the insides of her thigh until he reached her folds, swollen and glistening in excitement. And then his mouth was on her. His tongue hot and wet against her sensitive bundle of nerves, and it was all Kensi could do to keep from writhing away from his touch at the intensity of it.

After several moments, he had settled into a rhythm with his tongue, and she had lost herself in the pleasure she was feeling. His tongue focused on her clit, flicking it back and forth with varying speed and pressure. He kept her guessing and it drove her slowly crazy as the pressure built within her. Occasionally, he dropped his tongue down her slit and teased at the entrance to her pussy, which was growing more needy by the second.

He had worked her into an absolute frenzy after a few minutes. So by the time two of his fingers slipped inside of her, she had long since been ready to combust. The lightning waves of ecstasy that crashed over her crested quickly, yet intensely. Kensi found that she was too impatient to lay around and cool down, and sooner than she had expected she was ready to move on to the next phase.

He smiled up at her from between her legs and looked very pleased with himself, but also… Happy? Ecstatic? Kensi couldn't quite tell, but she desperately wanted to kiss that smirk right off of him. She reached down to cup his jaw in her hands and pulled his face back up to hers. Deeks briefly went cross eyed before closing his eyes completely when she covered his mouth hungrily with her own. She devoured his contented moans and noted the foreign, though not unpleasant savory-sweet taste on his tongue.

"Hmm. So that's what I taste like?" she remarked to him between kisses.

"Like heaven?" he answered cheerily. "You've never, um… _tasted_ yourself before?"

"Nope. Certainly not on a man's lips," she confessed.

"Well that's not unusual," he told her. "But you're braver than most women. They tend to think it's gross."

"Of course I am," she agreed. She then cupped his balls and now very firm dick through his shorts for added effect, and continued, "And clearly, I've been missing out."

Deeks groaned and clenched his jaw at her touch, pressing his forehead to hers as he fought to maintain his composure. Kensi pushed at the waistband of his shorts and boxers, but could only get them half way down his thighs. Deeks had to shimmy to kick them the rest of the way off himself.

Finally able to actually wrap her long fingers around him, she told him lasciviously, "There's something else I'm ready to taste."

Deeks chuckled at her licentious attitude, but stopped her from rolling him to his back.

"Hmmm… No, no," he told her, taking her hand in his and holding it against the pillow above her head.

"What? Why?" she said in a displeased manner, digging the nails of her free hand lightly into his chest.

"There will be time for that later. Right now, I just can't wait any longer. Next time," he told her in a husky tone.

"Next time?" she repeated hopefully.

"Next time…" he promised in a whisper, trailing off as he kissed the corner of her jaw.

"Come on Deeks," she whispered back to him.

"Condom?" he asked between bated breaths.

"Pill," she responded simply. Deeks groaned in anticipation. Just to be safe she added, "I'm good if you are?"

"Clean bill of health," he assured her, smiling.

Deeks positioned his hips between her legs, supporting his weight on one arm above her. With his other hand, he tugged on himself a few times. Rubbing the head of his throbbing dick between her folds, he spread her wetness. When Kensi began to lift her hips up impatiently, he finally relented and slipped inside of her. She could feel how snug she was around him, and appreciated that he was sliding in slowly.

"You good?" he asked her when she whimpered, kissing the pulse point on her neck.

"God, yes!" she hissed in reply. "Keep going!"

He mostly did as he was told. He pulled out all the way then slowly pushed back in several times, going a little deeper with each thrust. When he was finally sheathed all the way, and she had adjusted around him, he began to pick up his tempo.

Braced on his elbows, Deeks rolled his entire body against her. His long strokes drew cries from her that grew gradually louder. Kensi kept her mismatched eyes on the man on top of her, wondering at the intensity of it all. She had hoped for nothing less if this day ever came, but she marveled at how unlike every one night stand this sex was. How much more passionate it was than it had ever been before, even with her ex fiancé. She could barely even remember that guy's name with how much her mind had turned to mush; how focused she was solely on her partner— on Deeks, who was doing this to her with such affection in his touch and reverence in his eyes.

Deeks stilled and held himself deep inside her. He captured her lips in a passionate kiss, and Kensi seized the opportunity to roll him. They remained coupled, and he grunted in surprise against her mouth when he found himself on his back. Now in control, she began to ride him.

Kensi bucked her hips in time with each of his thrusts, feeling that sweet burn grow hotter and hotter. Every time he varied his movements even a little bit, the added sensation pushed her closer to the brink. She wanted this to last as long as it could, so she tried her hardest to keep her movements steady; to not grind against him too much in an effort to draw out the heavenly feeling.

But try as she might, she couldn't make it last more than a few more minutes. As she toppled over the edge, she lost control of her rhythm. All she could do was rock with him and try not to moan too loudly through her sharp breaths. He seemed to sense this and held her hips in place so he could slam up into her, and make up for her pleasure induced paralysis. Her inner walls convulsed wildly as the tension in each of her muscles was finally released.

Several seconds later, the waves of pleasure continued to spread out in gentle pulses from her core to the sensitive, heated flesh still intimately connected with the man below her. Her mind had been rendered so useless by the intensity of her orgasm, that she hadn't immediately realized that Deeks had come as well, and lay still beneath her with his arms around her waist.

"Kensi," he whispered softly into her ear, calling her mind back from it's pleasant hiatus. "Oh, Kens. That was…"

She sighed when he trailed off, and met his sated blue eyes. She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before responding, "I know, Deeks. I know."

When they finally pulled apart, it was only for a few seconds before they ended up wrapped in each other's embrace. Kensi tucked her head beneath Deeks' chin and he sighed contentedly. Breathing in her scent, he chuckled softly.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked him with tired curiosity.

"Hmmm," he hummed, tilting her chin up so he could look into her distinctive eyes. "I've got this strangely intoxicating aroma in my nose."

"What?" She asked, squinting and smiling broadly in amused confusion.

He kissed her with passion again, then answered sweetly, "Sunshine and gunpowder… and onions."

* * *

 **A/N: I originally wanted to make Kensi the one who was crying from onion chopping, and Deeks the one who responded to her tears. But there was no way she was going to be cooking. And I like it better this way now.**


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